10 Ways to a Sacred Sensual Experience
When us girls get together we ‘talk’, I mean we really talk about a lot of things and one of the topics that comes up over and over again (maybe just like you guys) is the topic of ‘sex’. I don’t necessarily mean the act of sex in itself, but what I am hearing is that there is a huge level of dissatisfaction for most women, with this particular topic. It seems that they are dissatisfied with wanting a much deeper sacred, sensual connection with their partner, a connection at heart and soul level and sadly most are not able to achieve that with their partners.
One of the greatest ways we find out about our own sexual and sensual needs is by discovering our own bodies, what we like what we don’t like so that we can pass that on to our partner. The difficulty though is that the ego comes into play and unless you have a deep level of communication with your partner this discussion can sometimes prove to be impossible.
However, if we all only open our hearts, and recognize that our bodies are sacred and that connecting with our partner at a soul level is deeply beneficial for both partners.
For most women, sex is an act of love, where all too often for men it is purely seen as a conquest or a release, which leaves us women feeling cold and dissatisfied.
1. Communication is the Golden Key
Arousal of a woman starts long before you get her in bed. When you stimulate a woman’s mind with words of love, appreciation and respect along with humour you will start to ignite her fire of passion. Ignoring a woman does not make her want you more, she will move on very swiftly to the next guy that is prepared to spend time stimulating her mind. Engaging conversation, showing an interest in what she does and what she has accomplished is all part of the sensual dance.
2. Making Love ~ A Sacred Experience
Yes it's fun to have a bit of dirty sex from time to time in unusual places, or a quicky with your boots still on. However, to really awaken the Goddess within ensure that a space for sensual connected love is created. Beautiful meditative music, flowers on the bed, insence burning. All adds to the most conducive environment for love. As Osho says:
People are making love in such a hurry as if they want to finish it as quickly as possible, especially if they think it is a sin, it is better to finish. To show your gratefulness you have to make a special place for it. No other vibe in a separate room, no fight, no argument, no throwing of pillows. They should enter the room after taking a bath. The room should be full of beautiful burning incense; there should not be glaring lights – just candles, dim light and they should not be in a hurry. Foreplay is essential for the simple reason that the woman's whole body is erotic. Man's whole body is not erotic; his sexuality is local.
3. Romance is not about the flowers
An expression of love to a woman doesn’t have to be complicated, it’s very simple really. Start to stimulate her chemical responses and raise her oxytocin levels with simple gestures of love such as cooking the dinner, drawing a beautiful relaxing bath, massaging her feet (OK not all women like this, I do though). All of this will make her feel relaxed enough that she doesn’t have to think about the next thing on her list. Especially if the next thing is you, it all becomes such a chore.
4. Make her feel Safe
You may have heard your partner say “I just want to lose myself”, this is an expression of a deep desire to feel safe enough to completely be away in the moment of climax. If a woman feels that trust between the two of you has not been established fully (and this goes back to communication) then she will find it very difficult to completely surrender to you.
We need to know that you will be there when we come back out of the abyss of ecstatic pleasure.
5. Be Aware
Practice meditation together, especially if it is Tantra meditation or yoga.
The word "tantra" is derived from the combination of two words "tattva" and "mantra". "Tattva" means the science of cosmic principles, while "mantra" refers to the science of mystic sound and vibrations. Tantra therefore is the application of cosmic sciences with a view to attain spiritual ascendancy. In another sense, tantra also means the scripture by which the light of knowledge is spread:
It is important that you treat her body as something you have never seen or touched before, as if this is the first encounter with her face, her hair, her lips her skin. Remember to pay attention to the less obvious areas, just lightly touching her skin on her arms, torso and inner thighs will stimulate her and help her juices to flow.
Bring awareness to your breath, practice breathing in sychronisation with hers, an exchange of breathe can often be more sensual than a full on kiss. Spend time breathing each other in and giving each other the breathe of life.
6. No Pressure
Because a man often thinks of the end goal when making love to a woman it can often make women feel as if they are being touched in a way that tries to move a woman to the point at which you can enter her too quickly. Woman feel under pressure to allow this to happen for you. When in fact she needs much more time than you do before insertion occurs.
Take the pressure off the Woman and yourself to perform and enjoy being present in the moment. Sex doesn’t always have to end with a climax. Play with each others bodies. Be a witness to your love- making, simply watch and witness. the witness has no judgement of good or bad, it is nothing but awareness, alertness and consciousness.
7. We’re Not in a Race
Women are much slower to warm up than a man, don’t get me wrong she will be aroused and so will you, when you don’t take it slowly though, both of you miss out on connecting with each other on a much deeper level. You’ll miss getting to her inner chambers of love. By taking your time, being in the moment of love with her you’ll both experience making-love at a whole new intense and deeply connective level. Remain conscious and alert and you will know the exact time of making love.
8. Her Heart is the Centre of Her Love
Remember to spend time on a woman’s breasts, touch them lovingly and the way they want to be touched. Stroking them and spending time on them like they are beautiful mounds of love. Communicate with her and allow her to talk about what is in her heart, ask her what she wants and what she loves, how she enjoys to be touched. You’ll reach her heart and she’ll start to feel safe and soft in your arms.
9. Respect Her
When her Yoni is truly awakened and receptive you’ll be drawn in and welcomed, you'll both know when the right time for making love is because of the bio-chemistry between you both. Consider asking for permission before you enter her which will express your reverence and respect and your woman will respond with complete surrender to you. Let the woman be on top, the missionary position can often be brutal. Woman are delicate and when she is on top she can be more active, and the man can be less active. When a man is on the top he is more active and will come to his ejaculation too soon, often leaving the woman dissatisfied as she has not yet reached the point where she is ready to orgasm.
10. Go With the Flow
The feminine side of us loves to go with the flow, to feel every moment of sensuality from the light touches to the kisses to the insertion and climax. When the arousal starts, the orgasmic energy within you both will build and could be over within a moment. However, allow this beautiful energy to build and relax and breath into the ultimate climax. Completely surrender to the moment without ego or performance. When the woman is able to be more active by being on top it is more likely that when she is ready to orgasm you will be ready to orgasm at the same time. When an orgasmic meeting is created between the two of you there is a tremendous merging of the two souls. Your bodies disappear and two souls become one, no longer are you two beings but one.
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Author Sunni Love
Divine Light & Love to You x