Yumiko and Sunni at Yoga

Friendship or Friendliness

friendliness osho

Friendship is destructive, it's false, it lies and it has false expectation. As much as we think we don't set expectations. Friendliness is absolute freedom: you give out of our abundance; it is not a need. Of course, existence understands that the person who is giving without any demands is a rare being. Existence takes care of your needs, but they are not demanded. Even if it does not fulfill your needs, it simply shows that deep down in your unconscious you are clinging to the idea of friendship. Only fools can be decieved just by changing the words.

What is friendliness? If you cannot expose your heart, naked, in friendliness, then you are not allowing friendliness to blossom and grow. A friend may love to hear the word yes, but friendliness is the person that can hear the word no and understand, he will be grateful to you that you were not deceiving him.

Friendliness means standing exposed to each other, because you have trust. 

Just as love is beyond the mind; in fact, friendliness rises higher even than love and has no expectations. It has no desire to hurt or offend, it has no desire to take something back that has already been given. Whether that is in deed, gifts or words, because once taken back it can never be returned and the hurt and the pain has already set in. 

The beauty of friendliness is that you don't expect anything, because wherever there is expectation, just behind it, like a shadow is frustration. You cannot dictate to the future; you don't even know what the future is going to be.

Friendliness is trust of unspoken values that don't need to be spoken which invoke expectation. friendliness is being vulnerable, open and transparent at all times and trust is created by proof that the trust will never be broken under any circumstances.

Friends kill each other, friends mame each other, friends hurt each other, friends lie, friends have expectation and friends give and then take back. That's why friendliness, proves itself over and over again, that they will be by your side support you they'll always be with you even when they see the worst side of you, loving without condition through their darkest moments is truth.

Some of the above are extracts from Osho and some are my own words – would you rather a friendship or friendliness?