I was listening to a talk the other evening about the Power of Proximity or as I like to call it Influence of Proximity. Research has shown that you are the average of your five closest friends, the company that you keep determines who you are. Do you feel completely drained, sucked dry of your energy, or do you feel uplifted, empowered and inspired as if you could be, do, have anything in your grasp as a result of simply being in their presence and being present.
The company that you keep determines who you are and often all we really want in life is to be connected, to feel connected to have so much in common with another person, it almost feels like you have met them before or that you are sisters or brothers from another life, that you know each other so well and have almost instantaneously and unbelievable, unbreakable bond. If you think about when we were kids, we made friends so easily and we would do things together all the time and support each other in our activities.
With the onslaught of what I call 'virtual social interaction' we carry out relationships on the internet, we communicate with people via the Facebook, Twitter, Skype, which, don't get me wrong, certainly has its place in society, but it has started to replace REAL connections, actually touching, talking, laughing with another human being. Sharing vulnerabilities with another person instigates growth, but how do we know when and how to be vulnerable without fear of being judged or ridiculed. Well I've decided to be vulnerable in this post today and share with you a small slice of what it's like to go through massive change and re-invention, the hurt and the pain that comes with it, but the glorious realistation that you've finally found your essence.
How many of you reading this blog have found themselves in a situation of hanging around the 'wrong' kind of people, perhaps people that have influenced you to drink too much, smoke to much, take drugs a bit too often and have found it's been detrimental to your personal and professional lives. Maybe it started when you were at school. The company that you were with influenced you in a negative way. That's not t say it's their fault, it was your choice afterall. However, many of you will have broken away from that influence of proximity and decided to find a more positively influential group.
This last 12 months I have gone through a lot of personal changes relating to my spiritual growth. I went travelling at the beginning of 2014 to places I had only dreamed of going to. I decided to become a qualified yoga teacher. I also started meditating which I always thought I would never be able to achieve.
Prior to this big re-invention the circle of people I hung around with were very much from the suited and booted tribe of corporate workers, who work hard and play hard, with regular drinking sessions, evenings out at curry nights, of course a lot of fun. They would talk negatively about the economy, politics, their colleagues, their boss. For me though, I was feeling less and less comfortable about living my life like this – I had started changing a long time before, but only gradually and then 2014 saw a complete re-invention.
Yoga & Meditation
My life is now one of daily yoga practice and meditation, I chose to become vegetarian and now moving to vegan. I surround myself wherever possible with people that are peaceful, healthy and loving toward me and the world, they don't drink, smoke or take drugs. However, it is not always easy, you see I didn't choose to lose my friends or change my influence of proximity it chose to leave me. The people I was hanging around with didn't 'get me' anymore, they didn't understand the way I thought or spoke anymore. When I went out with them, they saw be as being a 'bit weird' because I didn't drink or because of my tatoos. They didn't even take the time to find out about who I am now they just chose to make a judgement, as many of you are doing now whilst you are reading this based on a few simple facts. I do yoga, I meditate and am vegetarian. People judge based on the information they see without getting to know someone, without taking the time to re-connect with them.
Many of the changes that are occurring from me are as a direct result of meditation, changes are happening that I am not even in control of, I am become more and more super conscious of what I am doing, who I am with and what my purpose is, something I have never known in the past, so spent most of my life drifting from one idea to another. So now with my new found purpose and determination to make a difference to others that are going through the same thing, more personal friends are falling by the wayside because they don't want to me to serve others, they see what I am doing as a waste of time, as selfish, as irresponsible.
Sometimes a waiver, sometimes I topple off my path, especially when those that you thought were closest to you disappear as well. The guy that gave the talk this week helped me a lot to realise that I have to do what is right for me, some people will disappear, but the gift I am receiving is the gift of a new circle of influence. I am now strategically seeking out my new Influence of Proximity that fills me with heart centrered strength, empowerment and love.
Change is tough, change is scary and sometimes you will question yourself, sometimes you will think 'life would be so much easier if I was they way I used to be' if you know in your heart though that the changes you are making are right for you then go all out for it, stay on your path and be the most magnificent version of you possible.
It's fun, it's beautiful it's life changing.
Namaste & Divine Light